Stone-Faced Presidents Refuse to Comment on the Situation, Tourists and Rangers Sculpt New Plans!
The iconic crags of Mt. Rushmore have seen their fair share of grimaces, but never quite like this! As the government shutdown continues, even the stony visages of our former presidents are feeling the pinch, effectively facing “furlough”. Left in the lurch, park rangers are scratching their heads, contemplating the economic ramifications of maintaining such chiseled cheekbones!
Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt, and Lincoln, steadfast in their stoicism, have yet to comment on their forced “time-off”. The presidential quartet maintains their dignified silence, staring nobly into the distance, seemingly unbothered by the dwindling number of admirers below.
Rocky Road to Employment:
With the shutdown in full swing, the park rangers accustomed to safeguarding the monumental mugs find themselves in precarious straits. “Never thought I’d envy a rock’s job security,” sighed one ranger, polishing his resume and glancing enviously upwards.
The usual throng of tourists, once bustling at the base, has trickled to a meager few. Those who do visit engage in heated debates about which president had the best jawline and whether Roosevelt’s glasses would cost extra in maintenance.
Granite Grooming Grief:
Amid the fiscal fray, the cost of keeping the monumental faces groomed has park officials furrowing their brows. “Do you know how much it costs to buff Washington’s nose? And don’t get me started on Jefferson’s five o’clock shadow!” exclaimed the exasperated Chief of Maintenance.
In the absence of human activity, local wildlife has gotten bolder, exploring the monument’s nooks and crannies. A family of mountain goats has been spotted hosting presidential debates on Lincoln’s forehead, while a flock of birds nests comfortably in Roosevelt’s ear.
Furloughed rangers, ever resourceful, have turned to alternative ways to pass the time. Some are seen guiding unofficial “Secret Histories of Rushmore’s Noses” tours, while others have started a betting pool on which president will grow lichen first.
As the granite gaze of the four presidents endures, the furloughed faces of Mt. Rushmore and their once-bustling caretakers wait in stoic anticipation for a resolution. Will the chiseled cheekbones continue to weather the fiscal storm, or will the cost of maintaining such monumental mugs prove too steep? In the rocky silence, only the whispering pines and the chattering wildlife hold the answe